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5s V Winchmore Hill
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Joined: 24 April 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 463
Posted: 09 November 2011 at 1:26pm | IP Logged  

5X1 V Winchmore Cup Lost 4-0


Chaos reigned prior to KO which was not a good sign. Clifford was a no show as he had fallen into a concrete trench and was stuck solid (for all I know he is still entombed). Farrell was late as his trumpet lesson had overrun.

Then some of the team turned up for an impromptu al fresco fashion show. John O Brien Jr elected for a racy little crop top that left nothing to the imagination and then Tom Mullarkey showed up…………………..

In the film Zoolander, Mugatu launches his new line “Derelique” based on the destitute homeless vagrants in NYC. Tom Mullarkey came clothed in his new fashion inspiration “Terroriste”.  This new look included; trousers ending above the ankles, shoes covered in sand, goat sh*te and fertiliser, an unkempt and unwashed beard……………..and finally the obligatory back pack over BOTH shoulders. Had he got on a train, everyone would have got off.


To the game………..


We started brightly enough but Winchmore were a very well organised side with just one player under 6ft and caused us numerous problems in the air. We shipped two early headed goals which were probably offside but this still is not an excuse for players to stop running and put their arms in the air screaming for offside. If the ref doesn’t call it – we have to play for the whistle – it’s as simple as that really.


Toman and Ford laboured well up front when the ball was played into their feet but too many hoofs up the field meant it just came back down the field from a Winchmore head. Peter Johnstone did well to mark two players at once due to others not following their men.


We conceded two more in the first half  - again to debatable refereeing calls but no amount of whinging was going to change the refs mind – we need to learn to forget the decisions and rectify it by taking our frustrations out on the ball and smashing it into our opponents net!


The only player to stand out was Chris Harrington in goal (fresh from being cleared from interfering with Wacko Jacko, though he was watched over by his parole officer in a baseball cap). 


Half time nearly resulted in a free for all as the half time team talk descended into a gladiatorial battle. This though seemed to invigorate the team as we were much better in the second half. It also shows that players care.


For the third time in six games we “drew” the second half – I hate that turn of phrase and we must learn to get into the game from the KO.


We actually had some shots on goal in the second half with McKevitt hitting the post with a diving wig and Holly hitting the weakest shot in history straight off for a throw-in.


Jordan, Ruane, Gunn and Durkin worked tirelessly in midfield and Ford was a menace up front even though I swear I saw a flock of crows nesting in his wig.


John O Brien Jr, McKevitt, Furno were steady at the back with John Pharrel being the stand out player.


Towards the end of the game Winchmore brought on a young Filipino boy (everyone thought he looked like………….?) whose sole intention was to grab player’s c@cks! At least three players were violated so Holly elected to pick up the molester and run down the pitch (with the ball still at feet) with the molester under his arm before throwing him on the ground.


So there you have it, we lost to better team and our first half indiscipline coupled with the ref cost us dearly.


Though we’re still bottom of the league, results elsewhere have been kind and we’ve yet to play any of the teams near us at the bottom. Two wins and we’re mid-table.


It was easily also our biggest crowd of the season so thanks to all for coming down, especially JP for running to get the ball all the time.


Congratulations also to the O’Driscoll family who have had a baby boy, he’s already announced he wants to play for the fives.


MOM – Chris Harington, some outstanding saves in both halves (closely followed by Pharrel and JOB Sr).


Tom Barrett/Chris Harrington/Tom Mullarkey  watch– amazingly all three turned up today!!


Harrington played, Mullarkey came to blow the place up and Barrett showed up in the dressing room after the game to encourage players to shower. Maybe there’s life left in these old dogs yet?


Triggers Corner……………………


No show from Trigg again – got the following text an hour before the game:


“Sorry can’t make it today, went to a Justin Bieber concert last night and I think I’m pregnant”

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